Replica
by Mikanchan88
Summary: How will Sakura deal when she finds out that Kakashi only loved her because she was just a replica - a poor imitation - of the girl he loves? KakaSaku
1. The Final Blow

**THE FINAL BLOW**

Sakura dashed off out of the house. She brushed away her tears and increased her pace. Her head throbs in pain that she wants to just go back to bed. But the pain she feels in her heart is much more unbearable, so she has to go away as fast as possible.

Although the dawn is still breaking, she passed many people in town – acquaintances and friends. She just forced a smile and as much as possible avoided a conversation. Somehow, they didn't notice that something's wrong.

* * *

_The day before…_

Sakura was given the day off from the hospital by Tsunade. So she planned to surprise Kakashi by cleaning the house and in the process, even doing the laundry which is her most detested chore. She was inside the laundry room, found Kakashi's dirty clothes and grabbed one of his pants to wash, when something fell out of its pocket. She examined it and found the engraved letter "R" so familiar. Then it dawned on her. There could be no mistake; it is the key to the "off-limits" room in their apartment! She knew it since she saw it once in Kakashi's hands when he was once about to enter that room. The inner Sakura yelled, "_Cha! This must be my lucky day!"_

Ever since Sakura moved in with Kakashi in his apartment, she found that room intriguing. It was always locked, and whenever he is at home, he would hang out there for hours. So curiosity burns inside her. She _needs _to get inside, and see for herself the "mystery of the secret room".

However, she realized that once Kakashi finds out that she sneaked inside, he would probably throw her out of their apartment. In fact, she almost always planned to break in, but her conscience would always keep her from materializing the plan. But this time, she's really determined to enter the room, no matter what. And nothing can stop her from doing it. The key even practically landed on her fingers!

She advanced towards the door of the forbidden room, put the key inside the keyhole and gently turned the knob. _This is it… _Her mind is racing and her hands and her knees are shaking.

Then the door finally opened and it revealed to her…

Nothing special.

She sighed, clearly disappointed. _What is Kakashi doing here all the time?_

There's just a bed and a plain curtain. And millions of boxes.

She decided to inspect those. Surely Kakashi won't stay there just to sleep or meditate, right? There could be something inside the boxes…

She opened the one closest to her. It contained some papers. At one glance, you would suppose that those papers were dated about 20 years ago. _Could they be letters?_

She picked one and opened it. Her heart is beating wildly.

After about two hours, Sakura got out of the room, heartbroken and devastated.

Sakura got out of the room and mindlessly wandered across the apartment. She then decided to go to their room and sleep it all off. She felt like her mind was so exhausted and her brain will explode any minute.

She threw herself on their shared bed and closed her eyes. Tears finally started falling down. Her heart hurts so much and she wants to shout. Or even better, punch the life out of Kakashi.

_He's not over her yet… Why am I so stupid? Why didn't I even notice it? Why didn't I know before that he was and is still in love with Rin?_

She didn't know that Rin had a special place in his heart. He never talked of Rin aside from her being a former teammate and that she passed away many years before. She thought that Rin was just a dear friend like Obito that he grieved for his teammates' loss.

But when she read those letters from Rin, she knew that Rin had a thing for him when they were just 13. In those letters, she professed her love for Kakashi. However, she just laughed it off. _Rin is dead. She's not a threat anymore. She's just a memory. And perhaps, she's just like me once, when I was still crazy over Sasuke and he didn't even look at me. _And based on her letters to him, she could tell that Rin knew and accepted the fact that Kakashi could never even love her.

She looked at the other boxes, and she saw some pictures of them – pictures of Rin… staring up at the sky, smiling, making faces, doing random things. She then looked at the other boxes. All those boxes have Rin's memories in them. For her, it was never the "secret room" anymore. It now dawned on her that it was the room where Kakashi relieves the memories of Rin.

The stuffs in that room have "Rin" written all over them. But then, she rationalized and thought that maybe Kakashi felt guilty that he did not return her feelings even before she died. She will be guilty too if she was in his position. So, probably to ease his guilt, he visits Rin's things in that room from time to time.

But she cannot deceive herself anymore when she chanced upon some papers which were no doubt written by Kakashi himself. She recognized the handwriting. And she will never forget what he said in one of the entries:

_I still can't forget you. Why is it that every time I look at Sakura, I see your face? When I first met her 12 years ago, I saw you in her. There is this strong resemblance that I really can't ignore. You have the same personality… And it hurts because whenever I look at her, I see you… your smiles, your laughs. The way she gets angry at Naruto for being so clumsy, just like how you always get annoyed at Obito. And whenever I see her cry because of Sasuke, my heart aches because the memory of you crying because of me came back. I desperately wanted to protect her all the time. If I lay down my life saving her, it would be like saving you, which I regrettably failed to do many years ago. So that is why I held her close in my heart. She was like a replica of you…_

_She was like a replica of you…_ The words echoed in her head. She didn't finish reading it. Her heart hurts so much. It's like being punched by 10,000 angry Sakuras. And that really hurts.

His words sting and she remembered his every word. _So, that was why he was so nice to me before… That's why whenever he talks to me, he would smile and his eyes would always crinkle, and he would always speak so kindly to me. When he professed his love for me and said that "I'll never let you go again…" he was thinking of Rin and not me… He always saved me whenever I got into trouble, even risking his life. How many missions did I see him protect me and he would always end up in the hospital? So he was doing it not for me… not because he loves me, but because he sees Rin in me… And since he can't save her, he wants to save and keep me instead… For him, I'm not Sakura, but instead Rin's replica…_

* * *

Everything came back to her. All the signs that she didn't notice before. She remembered that it was not only once that his tongue accidentally slipped and he called her "Rin". But she just brushed it off because she understood how much he grieved because of both his teammates' loss. She would also mourn if ever her teammates get killed. So she didn't really dwell on the issue. It was not even an issue.

It hurts more whenever she thinks of it. Why didn't she see the signs before? Now, it's too late. She's madly in love with him. But she can't have him. His heart belongs to Rin. He is just within her reach, but no matter how far she stretched, she just can't hold him.

Sakura wanted to curse herself for feeling so stupid. She's even angrier with him for not respecting her feelings_. I have feelings too! We are not in a play and I am not an actor who takes the role of Rin. Why does he have to see me like that? I'm so stupid for thinking that he loves me as myself, as Sakura…_

"Sakura, I'm home…. What's wrong with you? Are you sick?" The voice she used to love hearing now tears her heart to pieces. And she dreads hearing it again, because she knows his voice stirs up mixed emotions within her.

Sakura wanted to punch him and run away… run out of his life forever. But she is still too tired to stand, too exhausted to move. She also can't force her lips to part and her vocal chords to cooperate. She's too tired to do anything.

Kakashi sat beside her and felt her forehead and neck. She still didn't move. Perhaps he thought that she was already sleeping and would leave her alone.

"Alright. Sleep tight." He kissed her forehead and gently wrapped her with a blanket.

After about an hour, although Sakura's mind is still fogged from the cruel discovery, she was still able to concoct a plan.

She stood up and looked for Kakashi. She found him in the living room, lying on the sofa.

"Kakashi…"

She gently whispered in his ear.

Before Kakashi fully opened his eyes, her lips claimed his lips. Kakashi responded and after a few minutes, they were making out on the floor, with Kakashi on top of her.

They did it on the floor, and before Kakashi collapsed on top of her, she heard him whisper something which served as the final blow. "Thank you… Rin…"

She feels like her heart has been torn and was broken into pieces, and while she was still trying to entertain a glimpse of hope and started to glue them together, Kakashi stepped on it to make sure that it wouldn't be fixed anymore.

That's what it is. Their relationship wouldn't be fixed anymore…

* * *

**After contemplating on writing a KakaSaku fanfic for some time, it's finally here! shriek!**

**Forgive me if the story is full of angst, I just can't help writing angsty stories. It's like a vice... hehe...**

**Please, those who read this, please review. Although you didn't like it, please say anything... Just anything for the betterment/improvement of this story... Your feedback really matters, guys! And I promise I won't ignore you!**

**I dedicate this story to _cutecrazyice_ and everyone who likes KakaSaku, InoShika and NejiTen (although the two other couples don't appear in this story)...**

**Please enjoy reading... and please review! Thanks!**


	2. Too Little Too Late

**Hey guys! Thanks for those who reviewed the first chapter of this story. I got really inspired by the reviews and the PMs, so I finished writing the second chapter today. However, I'm not sure if you would like it. It's kinda rushed, actually. Sorry if I disappoint you with this chapter...**

**Please read and tell me what you think. Thank** **you so much!**

* * *

**Too Little Too Late**

The sun's first rays kissed Kakashi's skin and blinded him. He blinked and tried to get his eyes used to the light.

_It's already morning? _He wondered. He didn't even remember that he fell asleep on the floor, still buck-naked under the blanket. All that he could remember was the wonderful sex he had last night with Sakura.

_Sakura_. He felt for the woman beside her, but she was no longer there.

_Did she go on a mission? It's still early… _She's usually at home during early mornings, except when she's on a mission. _I hope she'll go home early. We have something to talk about._ Kakashi smiled at the thought.

He wanted to tell Sakura last night, but she was having a headache – or probably just asleep – when he arrived. Then, after they made love, he didn't realize that he fell asleep. Maybe that could have been the perfect moment to tell her what he feels.

He wanted to say those things that he didn't think he'll say to anyone other than her.

_Sakura… I think I'm in love with you… But it took me too long to sort out my feelings for you. I hope it's not yet too late._

Yesterday, he had a talk with Genma over drinks. It led him to assess his feelings for Sakura. And thanks to him, he realized that he actually got over Rin many years ago and he was really in love with Sakura all this time they were together. He just didn't know it yet.

"_You know what, Kakashi? You're being unfair to Sakura. Does she know that you think of her as Rin? That would really hurt, man. If I was her, I would really leave you and find someone else who would love me for who I am, not for someone he wants me to be. Remind me again why I'm friends with you in case I forget and stab you to death with this senbon_."

_Kakashi chuckled. "I don't think so. I know I'm selfish, but I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to leave my side because I want to protect her. I don't want her to leave me like Rin did."_

"_Selfish." Genma initially agreed. Then the lecture began, "But do you realize that the more you hang on to Rin, the more you are losing Sakura? For Christ's sake, Kakashi, that girl is already dead! And Sakura's still alive! Think about this… You grieved when you lost Rin before because you were so cold and you didn't care about her, when in fact, you really do. And now, you are slowly losing Sakura because you thought that you still love Rin, when in fact, you are in love with Sak__ura. Are yo__u still waiting for that to happen, to lose Sakura before you show her how much you love her? Like what happened to Rin? __Why can't you accept the fact that you've already moved on? Don't yo__u think that Rin will also like it if you already let go of her? She needs to rest in peace in wherever she is right now. She just needs you to let her go. She's just waiting for you to move on, you know.__"_

_Genma's words penetrated his brain, and his mind took it all in._

_He contin__ued, "Kakashi, yo__u have to let go… You have to let go of Rin and your guilt. Don't dwell on it anymore. It will only cost you your present and your future with Sakura."_

_Kakashi is still silent, weighing Genma's words._

"_I know you love Sakura. You have to show her that you care for her. Before it's too late. I don't want this to happen again. I hope there'll never be a third girl. Besides, I'm already getting tired of your face. I need a new drinking buddy. Someone with no love problems and who doesn't give me some and forces me to give love advices."_

_Typical of Genma to be serious and concerned one minute, and jesting and complaining the next minute. But he is extremely grateful for talking to Genma. His mind was enlightened and the heavy weight in his heart had been lifted._

_Genma's right. He is not anymore in love with Rin. He just can't bear to think that he had forsaken Rin once again. B__ut perhaps Rin also needs peace. Maybe it's enough for her to be loved by Kakashi, although he wasn't able to say and show it. She wants to be in his memories from time to time, b__ut not to the extent of eating his time and ruining his life.__ Now, he just needs to do something._

_Kakashi stood __up, thanked Genma and poofed out of the pub._

_Seconds later, Kakashi reappeared at the graveyard, where most of his friends lay. He stood in front of Rin's grave._

_He whispered, "Rin, this will be the last time I'll be here. I won't be back. I'll let the both of __us go. I know that you've been ready to move on for sometime, but you're just waiting for me. I'm so sorry if I made you wait for so long…"_

_Kakashi just stood there, silent and with a grim expression on his face, staring at Rin's engraved name on the stone. After about an hour, he finally said, "So this is goodbye, Rin… for good…"_

_He turned his back from the grave and walked off. He passed by Obito's grave. The memory of the two of them, Rin and Obito, smiling at him is still clear in his memory. He whispered, "Obito wherever you are,_ _take care of her Rin."_

_Maybe his two friends and teammates have been waiting for this moment. The moment that he lets go of his past and moves on._

* * *

Kakashi got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked towards the closet to get some clean clothes to wear. When he got near their bed, he noticed a piece of paper lying on the bed. He reached for it, and although he doesn't know why, he's suddenly scared.

He opened it and found a familiar handwriting. _Sakura_.

_Kakashi,_

_I decided to go away so that yo__u won't have to bear living with me and to release the both of us from this relationship. I know that you loved her, and you still do. I got inside the room yesterday.__ And I fo__und a lot of things that made me realize that you aren't ready for a relationship with anyone yet…_

Thoughts kept racing in Kakashi's head. He found it hard to believe. But Sakura wouldn't joke about delicate matters such as this.

How did she get inside the room? And why didn't he throw all those things before?? He contemplated on throwing Rin's stuffs before, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Now, he can finally do it, but it's too late. Sakura already knew.

_No one co__uld replace her in your heart. Not even me. So I realized that no matter how much you try, you can't force yourself to love me. No matter what we do, this won't work out. So let's stop this. You don't have to pretend anymore. I'm setting you free…_

Kakashi's mind was racing and his heart was pounding out of his chest. _No, I love you. I had just decided to forget Rin yesterday. Why didn't you give me a chance? And why did you have to give me something special last night when you are actually leaving me?_

As if his questions were answered, Sakura's next words were:

_Yo__u failed the test I gave you last night. I was hoping that after we made love, I would hear the words you never said to me. I was so stupid to think that you will tell me you love me, even just for once. __I was ready to give this__ relationship a chance. I was ready to shrug it all off, just to hear you say those three little words to me. But you never said it. And what hurts the most is that even during those times, you think of me as her. You wished that it was her you are touching and not me. Even during lovemaking, she still comes in between us. You even whispered her name last night. That was the last straw. So before I lose my respect to myself and to you, I had to end it. I hope you'll be happy._

_Sakura_

_Did I mention her name last night?_ Kakashi wondered. Then he remembered the moment when he thanked Rin in his mind for letting him go. For having the chance to be loved by Sakura, to be wrapped in her arms. He was thankful because he thought that he would never feel that way to someone again. Rin was always on his mind, but last night, it was different. It was all Sakura. So he just had to thank Rin for releasing him. _Shit._ _Did I blurt it out loud?_

Kakashi felt his strength leave him. He was holding the letter tightly in his hand, as if the letter was Sakura herself. He doesn't want to let go.

He sat on the bed, thinking of what he had done. He threw away something that could have been special. He's the only one to blame for everything. If he just opened up his eyes earlier, if he had learned and decided to let go earlier, he should have been happy now. He shouldn't have hurt Sakura. Sakura wouldn't have left him if he had told her long before how much he loved her and needed her.

Now, everything has come to this. Sakura's gone and he feels so empty. It's like a large chunk of him had been taken away. His world is falling apart.

History is repeating itself. Once again, he realized a little too late how important someone is to him, when she's already gone. He lost another girl who is not coming back to him again. He just can't learn his lessons.

_How many people will be taken away from me before I begin to appreciate them?_

Like all the people he loved and treasured, Sakura also vanished, and he has a feeling that she will never come back to him again.

* * *

**Thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter!**

**_cutecrazyice, Goddess Psyche, monya, Diamondprinces, Jenneke88, Ryn729, moderndayportia, Platti, nichi,_ and _Trinnerti..._**

**And also for those who subscribed to my story, thanks a lot!**

**Thanks for believing in me... (sniff, sniff)**


	3. Like The Wind

**Hey guys! It's finally here... the third chapter. Sorry if it took me too long to update! Hope you like it! Please tell me what you think, okay? Thanks...**

* * *

**Like the Wind**

Kakashi spotted a pink-haired woman walking on a busy street. It's Sunday, and the streets are crowded with people who wanted to take the day off to unwind. The woman is walking swiftly, as if on a hurry. And his heart beat fast, struggling to get out of his chest.

_Is it her?_

It's been more than a month since Sakura left him. And it has been the worst days in his life. He's been a wreck, a walking corpse. He searched for her, far and wide. He even went to look for her in other villages. But he failed to find her. It's like a treasure hunt with no clues. He started from scratch, and went on without progress. He went home everyday in his empty apartment, where every piece of her still lives on.

_Oh god, I miss her smiles, which I think I'll never see. I miss her laugh, but I doubt if I'll ever hear it again. And the way her eyes crinkle and shine when she's happy. And when she's sad or frustrated, the way she hides her tears from me because she never wants me to see her crying. And also the times when she sends me flying in the air whenever she gets angry at me. Even those times when my body would ache for days from her blows. I miss everything about her._

In a single, swift motion, he got near the girl and hugged her tightly. "I'll never let you go again, Sakura. I'm so sorry. Please come back to me," he whispered in her ears.

The girl lifted her hands and put them in his chest – and pushed him away. "Get away from me, perv!"

Kakashi took a good look at the girl and for the first time, noticed that she is not who he thought she is. There is no resemblance, except for the pink hair.

The hope that shone in his eyes a few minutes ago was now completely gone. _I'll never find her again…She'll never let me see her again…_

A few drops of sweat trickled on the exposed skin on his face, as he said sorry to the "harassed" girl. He did not wait for her reply, he quickly poofed out of the street.

* * *

Kakashi was having his tenth glass of sake when Genma finally stopped him. His mouth opened and Kakashi knew that he was saying something but he can't hear it. The bar they are in is now crowded and noisy, that they can barely hear each other.

"W-What are you saying, G-Genma?" his words slur out of his mouth. He may be drunk, but he still knows what was happening around him. Or that's what he thinks.

"I said you better hold that drink. You've been having too many. This wouldn't solve your problem. It would only give you a hell of a hangover tomorrow. What's worse is that I have to drag you all the way to your apartment when I should have been taking a hot girl home instead."

"I-I'm not drunk yet. I still know what's happening around me." Yet the words continued to slide off from his mouth like someone who had too much alcohol in his system.

"W-Wait, I have to pee." He stood and turned to walk towards the comfort room when he bumped into someone. He mumbled an apology and started to walk away, when a hand flew to his mask-covered cheek.

"Hu-what?" The blow made him lose his drunken state. Suddenly, the world was clearer. Everything around him is no longer a blur. Even the one standing in front of him.

As he was trying to register the familiar face in his head, the pink-haired girl spoke. "Hey, we met again, bastard. After hugging me in public out of the blue and suddenly disappearing in front of my eyes with insufficient apology, you now bumped into me again. Are you a stalker or something?"

"W-what? O-of course not."

"So why do you hug strangers just like that? Is that a hobby of yours?"

"No. I just thought you were someone else."

"Oh. Really. Confess now, you perv!" the girl's index finger flew in front of his face, her suspicious gaze met his. This girl sure knows how to annoy him.

He lowered her raised finger in one swift motion. "I've got nothing to confess. It's just a mistake, that's all. Don't make a big fuss out of it." He turned his back and began to walk away. He may have turned too suddenly because everything became hazy again.

Kakashi woke up, a searing pain crept into his head. _This damn hangover!_, he silently cursed. He slowly opened his eyes, trying to register in his mind the unfamiliar room he's currently in.

He tried to stand up. His head feels heavy. As he was about to detach himself from the bed, he found out that he was naked underneath the sheets. _What happened to me?_ He tried to remember what happened last night. All he could remember was that he was drinking with Genma. And his walk towards the comfort room. And his encounter with the annoying pink-haired girl.

_Oh. My. Fucking. God._

_Did we do something we shouldn't do?_

He wanted to kick himself for being stupid. _It's all because of those drinks._ He instantly swore never to taste alcohol again.

The door suddenly opened, showing a pink-haired girl. Kakashi remembered her face from the night before. She's pretty, with her brown eyes and long lashes. And luscious lips…

_God, why am I even thinking _that_?_

The woman is attractive, no doubt about that. Especially now that a smile spread across her lips. And her eyes are twinkling – like she knows a secret which she never wants to share to him. She was definitely more beautiful today than yesterday.

She approached him and handed him his clothes. "Sorry I had to take them. I had them dry-cleaned. You can take a shower before you leave."

He took his clothes and finally stood, wrapping the blanket around his waist.

He hesitated, but finally asked what was bothering him. "Did something…"

"happened last night?" the girl interrupted, her smile was wider now. "I don't do those stuffs with strangers – especially with perverts. However hot they look without their clothes on. And without their mask on."

Kakashi finally noticed that his beloved mask was also gone. He spotted it in the bunch of clothes he was currently holding. _Why did she take it without my permission?_ He wanted to burst. She is the third woman who ever saw his face, next to Rin and Sakura. _Sakura… _

But reason took hold of him. She just didn't know how important his mask is to him. She was just trying to help…

There was a deafening silence. Afterwards, she suddenly spoke, "By the way, my name is Yuriko."

There was no response. She bit her lower lip. "Well, I thought you would ask. I'm sorry if – "

"Kakashi. My name is Kakashi."

* * *

"You totally infuriate me Nara! Don't show your face to me again – ever! I don't wanna see you! Don't come near me!" Ino was screaming and flailing her arms wildly in front of the confused man.

"You really are so troublesome, Ino. What is it again? Women…" Shikamaru wondered. They were just taking a peaceful walk a few minutes ago, when his girlfriend suddenly turned psycho.

"You don't remember? Today is our anniversary! It's been our fourth year together and you still don't remember this day?"

_Oh crap. Not again. I am not going to hear the end of it, _thought Shikamaru.

"If you keep on forgetting our anniversary, it means that I am not important to you! Right, Nara? Are you cheating on me? Who is she? Tell me and I'll kick the life out of her face. And you too!"

Shikamaru sighed. "You really are so troublesome… I am not cheating on you Ino. There is no one else. It's just that boys don't keep track of dates such as anniversaries. We're terrible when it comes to dates. But if today's our anniversary, then happy anniversary to you." A bored look was on his face.

"That's it?!" Ino shrieked. People are staring at them. "Happy anniversary to me? How dare you say it without even meaning it. Why did I even choose you among the gorgeous boys that's hovering over me? Insensitive prick…" she kept on blabbing while walking away from Shikamaru. Shikamaru was left with an even more puzzled expression.

All of a sudden, Ino stopped. Her eyes went wide. She instantly turned her head back to Shikamaru, but it looked like he didn't see anything. She turned her gaze back to the scene she's seeing in front of her eyes.

Kakashi walking out of a house across the street, obviously straight out of the shower. A pink-haired girl waving him goodbye. She looked happy and… in love?

_The bastard!_, thought Ino. While her best friend was wallowing in pain and misery, her lover had already moved on, with another pink-haired girl! And it was so obvious that he spent the night with her in her house!

How dare him to move on so easily! Just like the wind, his feelings for her best friend came and went. It's been only a little over a month, but he's already sleeping with another girl! And a girl with a pink hair at that!

She is so not going to let it pass. Whatever happens, she's going to let Sakura know about it.

* * *

**Sorry, I just had to include Ino and Shikamaru here! Just can't get enough of them! haha...**

**And I know, Yuriko's a bitch! haha! I hate her too... I'm looking for ways on how to kill her in the next chapters! haha, just kidding! I think she'll stay... (sigh)**

**And btw, thanks to those who reviewed the first two chapters.**

**_babyshetland, Emilia Swan, xRedHasAppearedx, chiyuki101, maila89, Trinnerti, Platti, Jenneke88, cutecrazyice, Ryn729, Goddess Psyche, monya, Diamondprinces, moderndayportia,_ and _nichi..._**

**And for those who added me on your favorites and alert lists, I can't say how grateful I am... But I know you know how I truly appreciated it!**

**Thanks a lot! Please tell me what you think of this chapter... Please... thanks!**


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